We're facebook friends in real life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
