I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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