TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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