i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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