I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
