so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
