This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
