I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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