Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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