Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
