it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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