i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
