i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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