I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize