i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
