when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
