well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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