Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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