not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
