Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize