help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
