Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
