i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
