Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
