since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
