Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
