White coat. Heels.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
