your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
