WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize