Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
