its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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