is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize