I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
