there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
