No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
