my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
