You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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