I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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