you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
