I'm gonna have a badass scar
she was so not down for the gang bang
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
