I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
