Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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