My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
