So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
