I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
