what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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