i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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