your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize