It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
