Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize