We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
