Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If I die, sorry about rent.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
