Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
