She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
