You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
