That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
