If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
