Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
