well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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