Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
