distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
