Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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