What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's blow job season.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize