dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
