Buhtt sex?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
