Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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