I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
