It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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