brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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