...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
